Village Boy Girl Jokes

 लड़का:- Whatsapp अपडेट कर लो.

लड़की:- कैसे करते है..? 

लड़का:- Play_Store पे

जाओ और वहाँ से कर लो 

लड़की:- हमारे गांव

में Play Store नहीं है

जनरल स्टोर है वहा से कर लू

Bandr Bhi sms parhnay lage hai _ Funny SMS Jokes

Thandi Hai Coffee Garam Karlo
Is Pathar Dil Ko Thora Sa Naram Karlo
Morning Time se Inbox Khali Hai Mera
Thori Si to Yaro Sharam Karlo
===============================


Thandi Thandi Hawa Chali Mausum Howa Suhana
Wa Wa Wa Wa
Thandi Thandi Hawa Chali Mosam Howa Sohana
Bandar B SMS Parhnay Lagae,
Educated Howa Zamana
===============================


Mere Sugar Se Mithey
Milk Se Gorey
Asmaan Se Oonchay
Samandar Se Gehre
Baraf Se Thanday
Aag Se Garam
Or
Sab Se Be-Sharam
Dost
Kabhi To Msg Kia Karo
===============================


Dushman Chahy
Jitna Be Acha Dost Ban Jaey Us
Per Aitbar Na Karo
Kuon K Pani Ko Chahy Jitna Be Garam Karlo
Aag Bhujanay K
Liay Kafi Hota Hai..
===============================



Q: Ghairat Kia Hai..?
A: Ghairat Wo Cheez Hai
Jo Agar Ap Ko Aa Jaye To
Mera Inbox Kabhi
Bhi Khali Na Rahey…
===============================

Latest Funny Jokes in Hindi

Hindi Teacher to Santa:  Tumhare papa ka kya naam hai?
Santa: Google Singh
Teacher: Yeh kaisa naam hai?
Santa: Mein jahan bi jata hun, wo mujhe dhoond hi lete hain.

===========================================

IN ENGLISH

Hindi Teacher to Santa: What is the name of your father?
Santa: Google Singh
Teacher: How's that name?
Santa: Where ever I go, he always finds me out.

===========================================

Que: Aadmi aur aurat me kya farak hota hai.
Ans: Aurat ek hi aadami se bahut sari umeed karti hai.
Aur aadami bahut sari auraton se ek hi umeed karta hai…..

===========================================

Noida ke ek shopping mall me 2 Hindi Santa aur Banta apni apni biwi ko dhund rahe the.
Santa: Tumari biwi dekhne me kaisi hai?
Banta: Vo 5'-7" lambi hai, gora rang hai, 36-24-36 figure hai aur ghane lambe baal hain. Aur tumari kaisi dikhti hai?
Santa : Meri bhool jao, chalo tumari dhundte hain.

Munni Badnaam Hai................

Dil hai to pyar hai, pyar hai to ishq hai,
Ishq hai to mohabbat hai, mohabbat hai to dard hai,
Dard hai to zandu balm hai aur
Zandu balm hai to munni badnaam hai.

Girl Friend - Boy Friend

Girl : Tum mujhe apni heere ki ring de do, mein ring ko dekh
ke tumhe yaad kiya karungi,

Boy : Tum ye sochkar yaad kar lena ki kamine se ring mangi
thi aur usne nahi di.

==============================================

Line marne ke bahut se tarike hai jinme se
3 mazedar ye hain
.
.
.
.
.
1. Pencil se

2. Pen se

3. Marker se

Kabhi to sidha socha kar 

==============================================

Girlfriend ke aansu aur boyfriend ke aansu me kya fark hai?
GF ke aansu farmaish puri karwane ke liye nikalte hain,
Jabki boyfriend ke aansu unhe pura karte karte nikalte hain!

=============================================

Welcome to “Sach ka samna”
.
.
Jawab sirf haan ya na me dena hai
Toh lo aapke liye pehla sawal

Kya aapne mandiro se chappal churana chor diya hai

==============================================
 
Aisi wani boliye ki jamkar jhagda hoye
Guar farmaiyega Aisi wani boliye ki jamkar jhagda hoye
..
..
..
..
Par usse na boliye jo tose tagda hoye!!

==============================================

Sardarji in ATM

 An ATM is considered as a very complicated machine in rural India. There are lot of funny incidents that happen around the ATM. At time when you find sardarjis using an ATM you would feel that this is one of the most complicated machines ever to be made and would wonder as to what is it that would be simple and easy for him.

I was once standing in line at an ATM and there were 2 sardarjis standing in front of me. I could figure out that they were friends from the way they were chatting. But each of them would hide their ATM cards from each other as if that was the most precious thing in life.

This ATM has 2 machines inside and it could accomodate 2 people. I saw both these friends get into the cubicle together. Suddenly they were serious and there was dead silence.

1st Sardar inserted his card into the machine and the 2nd one peeped at him. The moment he entered his pin number, the 2nd sardar screamed with joy and started shouting.

2nd Sardar: I saw it, I saw it. i saw your pin number.
The 1st sardar was stunned. His face went pale and he was loss of breathes.

2nd Sardar: Your pin number is ****

The 1st sardar burst laughing. He said, “Wrong, wrong. You have got it wrong”.

1st Sardar: My pin number is not ****. It is 1278.

Pappu in Kaun Banega Crorepati..........

Pappu Kaun Banega Crorepati Main:
Question: What is you father name?
Pappu: Plz Options?
a. Dabbu
b. Babbu
c. Shabbu
d. Hubbu
Pappu: Life line-50/50
a. Dabbu
c. Shabbu
Pappu: Audience Vote.
75% Dabbu
25% Shabbu

Pappu: Main apni last life line use karna chahta hu “Phone a friend.”

Kisse call karengy?
Pappu: Apne baap Dabbu ko!

Baniya Hindi Jokes..........

Baniye ki Adat
Train mein ik mosquito Funny Chinese ke sir pe aa baitha.
Vo us ko pakar ke kha gaya. Fir ik matchar Bania pe baitha.
Us ne pakar ke Chinese ko poocha “khareedoge kya !!!”
========================================

Ek Lota paani de de.......... 
Bania's Son: Papaji bahar Swimming pool k liye chanda mang rahe he..
Kanjoos Bania: Koi baat nahi Beta, Ek lota paani de de.
========================================

Mere papa ko nahi jante
Teacher:   Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain.
10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain.
Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania's son: Kutch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Bania's funny son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante. 

A middle aged woma........

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied - I didn't recognize you."

There are two ants.......

There are two ants living in a girl's pair of panties. One day they decide to go exploring in the caves. They said to meet back in the same spot in and hour. So, one ant went in one cave, and the other ant in a different cave.

After an hour went by, the two ants met back up.

One ant was covered in brown, sticky, smelly stuff. "Eeew!, What was your cave like" asked the other ant.

"It was nice at first, but it soon became really smelly and the walls were all dark and sticky" replied the ant. "So how was your cave?".

"Well" he said, "It was lovely at first, all pink and warm, but then this bald guy started head butting me and then spitting on me."

Bartan Achay Dhultay hain...........

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai. Mai Kehta hon,
Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Answer bata ke ja...........

SARDARji : Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND :Main jaa raha hun.

SARDARji : Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..

Εmail & Female

American says : US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..
 
Sardarji says : India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…

roaming lagti h.........

Sonu- Mera ghar itna bada h k usme local train chlti h...
Monu- bas, saale mera ghar itna bada h k agar 
ek-kone se dusre-kone chale jao to roaming lagti hai..

Teacher: There is a frog, .........

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then, what is my age?

STUDENT:32 yrs.

Teacher: How do you know?

STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Principal : I tried ur number.......

Principal : I tried ur number so many times,
it said switched off…!

STUDENT said :”ya. it’s my CALLER TUNE”
Principal shock…!
 
Student rocks….!

जज: इसके दोनों कान......

जज: इसके दोनों कान काट दो!
संता: नहीं मैं अँधा हो जाऊंगा!
जज: कान काटने से अंधे कैसे होओगे?
संता: चश्मा कहाँ लगाऊंगा!

पप्पू: डैडी मुझे ढोल ले दो!..........

पप्पू: डैडी मुझे ढोल ले दो!
संता: नहीं! तू ढोल बजा कर मुझे तंग किया करेगा!
पप्पू: नहीं डैडी! जब आप सों जाया करोगे तब मैं ढोल बजाया करूंगा!

पप्पू: मम्मी मुझे नींद.........

पप्पू: मम्मी मुझे नींद नहीं आ रही! मुझे कोई कहानी सुनाओ!
मम्मी: थोड़ी देर ठहर जा, तुम्हारे डैडी आते ही होंगे! लेट नाईट टाईम पर घर न आने की कहानी वो जो मुझे सुनायेंगे तू भी सुन लेना!

पत्नी: सुनो जी मेरी चप्पल............

पत्नी: सुनो जी मेरी चप्पल बिल्कुल टूट गई है! शाम को मेरे लिये एक जोड़ी चप्पल लेकर आना!
पति: शाम को एक जगह मेरा भाषण हैं! तुम भी मेरे साथ वहां चलो! अपनी पसंद की जितनी मर्जी जोड़ियां उठा लाना!